Suicides of Kate Spade and Anthony Bourdain
In light of the suicides in the news this week, I have really had this on my mind. My thoughts are with their families. As a huge fan of Anthony Bourdain reading about the news of his death this morning brought tears to my eyes.
If your family has been impacted by suicide, then you know all too well how hard this is for all that are touched by it. And you may feel responsible for not understanding the depth of your loved one’s suffering. I know I did, when my brother took his life in 2005.
CNN reported tonight that according to the CDC(Center for Disease Control) suicide is up 25% since 1999 in the US.
I wrote this a few months ago, after watching the news one morning. Thanks for reading…
On The News This Morning…
A young, adult male had climbed over the overpass barrier and was hanging on to the fencing, ready to jump. This took all of a 30 second segment of the news. He was talked off the ledge and brought down off the bridge to safety. Happy ending…? I don’t know.
I thought about this young man all day. Does he have family support? Who are his parents? What happened to him to leave him feeling he had no other way, but to consider taking his own life? I’d like to believe he has a strong support system and he’s getting the help he needs, but I’ll never know.
If you’ve been touched by someone that has either attempted suicide, committed suicide, or has battled depression you relate to this story. This story stirred some very personal experiences for me, I wish I could give that young man a hug and tell him whatever your going through, it can be ok. Things will get better!
It made me wonder, how many people are feeling the same way as this young man on the news right now. So I decided to write some tips for anyone that may be feeling despair or if you know someone you suspect is, maybe this can help.
How To Help Yourself
If you are feeling hopeless about your life please read this post and I will share with you some resources(you can call the lifeline #1-800-273-8255, 24/7). There are people that CAN help you. You can also go online to suicidepreventionlifeline.org. Read through survivor stories, and find the resources that are right for you.
- Recognize when your heading in a bad direction with your thoughts or feelings
- Create a safety plan for when you are feeling hopeless
- If you are on medication(antidepressants, etc..) continue to take your medicine and talk to your Dr. if something isn’t feeling right
- Reach out to family or friends for support and be open with them on how you are feeling, they may not understand the seriousness at first(I know I didn’t)
- Find a counselor or join a support group for people dealing with your same feelings
- Practice some self care tips, put on your favorite movie, go for a walk, make your favorite meal, take a bath, whatever your thing is that comforts you
How To Help A Friend
If you know someone that is in a dark place, and you suspect they may be suicidal, don’t dismiss your intuition, chances are you are picking up on something. Here are some tips on how you can be a support to them.
First How To Recognize Symptoms:
- talking about wanting to kill themselves or how they would do it
- voicing feelings of hopelessness
- being extremely moody, full of anger and rage
- feeling stuck with no way out
- using drugs or alcohol heavily
- reckless behavior or being completely withdrawn
- any suicidal behavior/conversation on social media
- Sleeping all the time or not at all
If you’ve ever found yourself in a situation with a loved one or friend, that is suicidal it can be pretty scary. My mother has been a social worker my whole life, so you’d think I’d have at least some basic skills in this department, yet I’ve neglected family members by not recognizing their call for help. I’ve also been a support person to someone in crisis and been completely terrified by not knowing what to say or not to say to help.
Ways To Be Supportive
- call the hotline yourself to get advice, I’ve spoken with a suicide counselor and they were able to tell me exactly how to be a support for them
- listen without being judgmental
instead of wanting to offer immediate solutions, validate what their feeling, sit with them, feel their pain and truly listen
- don’t agree to keep their feelings a secret, tell someone that can help
- Remove dangers such as weapons, pills…
- stay with them
- talk with them openly about their suicidal feelings
- Give them a hug
If this post has spoken to you, and you battle with feelings of hopelessness please don’t feel alone. You may feel as if you are alone or that no-one will understand, or maybe you don’t know what to do to get help. Just know there are people out there that do want to help you and want to listen to how your feeling .Let someone be the support you need.
So please talk to someone.